recovery
Tools, Actions and Choice…
I have been given pause lately to reflect on my recovery journey and what has worked for me. In reflection, I have found that for me in my journey that everything I learned fell into one of two categories: tools and actions. I came into recovery literally on my knees ready to die. I had […]
Guest Post : Life Quakes, Grief, and Gambling
My Recovery Didn’t Come with a Manual By Deanna B My recovery journey began on July 4, 2020, I was settling into a rhythm—meetings, service work, day-at-a-time living. I was repairing relationships, especially the one that had taken the hardest hit from my addiction: my marriage. For a while, life was quiet. Calm. No chaos, […]
Defending my chosen journey…
At the beginning of this blog post I would like to remind you that anything I write is based on my own singular experience with recovery from my gambling addiction. I believe deeply that each compulsive gambler at some point becomes able to choose for themselves how they choose to travel their own journey. I […]
What I learn in puddles….
Sorry readers, this post is a long one. There have been too many times to count during my recovery when I found myself sitting in a mud puddle of overwhelming emotions feeling “frozen” and incapable of not just moving forward emotionally, but literally physically. Today is two years since the final episode of not only […]
Admitting my imperfection…yes, another one
It was within the last month that I shared with anyone on the face of the earth that I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder when I was 35 years old. I did not feel that my relationship at that time was a safe space for me to share and maneuver what that meant to […]
The Paradox of Progress
Anyone who has travelled my recovery journey with me knows that when it comes to my recovery there are the top six things about me that are true no matter what. I entered the rooms of recovery 1791 Days ago. I have attended hundreds, if not thousands of meetings in that time. I have tried […]
Don’t Blame the Unicycle…
My base for my recovery is in Gamblers Anonymous. I believe in what the GA Yellow Book tells me about what will keep me safe from the dark depths of my addiction. The Definition of Gambling on page 14 tells me that, “Gambling, for the compulsive gambler is defined as follows; Any betting or wagering, […]
Prison, Insanity or Death
How what happened then, got me to now. I try to spend most of my time living in the “here” and “now” of my recovery rather than giving too much of a voice to my actions during my active addiction. However, there may be some value for those of you who struggle still to have […]
Who Is Driving My Bus?…
…and how do I control my passengers. I discovered early in my recovery that visuals serve my neurodivergent brain best when learning concepts, ideas or theories. Therefore the “who is driving my bus” theory made instant sense to me. Life changed so much in early recovery and I found that there were people I was […]